Procrastination

Let me break down my favourite occupation

There’s nothing I love more than good procrastination

Really it’s amazing how I’ll find any old excuse

To do anything except what I’ve got to do

The clearest example is coursework or an essay

I’d rather watch footy, get lagered and messy

The logic that I’m making it worse just cuts no ice

I’m like there’s girls to pull and splash on the old spice

Almost any unpleasant thing that can possibly exist

I use as reasons to ignore my to do list

I can’t do my washing cos I’ve gotta feed the dog

But I can’t feed the dog cos I really need the bog

So the dog goes hungry and my clothes still stink

And the TV’s more important than the dishes in the sink

But then the moment arrives to really do my work

And now it’s a tragedy my clothes are covered in dirt

Honestly, I’ve skirted these issues for far too long

And last weeks kebab is really smelling too strong

So I’m on the case, got a new plan of action

And I promise this time there’ll be no distraction

I’ll feed the dog, wash my clothes and do the dishes

And then clean the garden pond and check on the fishes

And when I’ve done that I’ll get down to my work

But that bird I like texted, so I’ll do some phoneflirt

And once she’s agreed to come to the pictures

Then I’ll bury my head in my school work scriptures

Cos then there’ll be nothing to divert my attention

And that’s the key you know for knowledge retention

But did I mention there’s a new simpsons on soon

And mum’s been nagging me to clear up my room

My work will get done, don’t worry, it’s not too late

But while time’s on my side, I’ll procrastinate

Words by Avant-Garde resident poet George Hardwick

For any comments, queries or any suggestions on potential topics please feel free to drop George an email at Avantgarde.online@rocketmail.com.